*Note - I started this draft a week and a half ago. This is the pace I'm working with here. :)
I've been sharing my daily struggles, stories, and emotions with my mom and she asked if I was writing these things down. Unfortunately that's the last thing on my priority list, but hopefully I'll be able to update our journals soon. In the meantime, I thought I'd write down a few things I want to remember about the first month because I'm trusting my mom when she says that someday this will all seem humorous.
Charlie - Oh poor Charlie. He's had the hardest time with this change. He's not sleeping/napping well, which makes him tired and grumpy and emotional every day. He gets up at 5:00-5:30am every day. he wants me to hold him constantly and seems bugged that the baby takes me away from him. He does have little moments of sweetness around Everett where he gets down next to him and says, "what a cute little guy!" In the car when Everett is crying, he'll say, "We have a crying baby here!" 'He wants to eat. no, he's tired, no he's pooping!" I think he's figured out newborns well.
Madeline - This girl has been my lifesaver. She is such a big help. She asks to hold the baby about every 30 minutes so I can get things done. The last few mornings she has gotten up with Charlie, gotten him breakfast and played with him downstairs so I could sleep in. She seems happy and the novelty of a new baby hasn't worn off in a month. I'm sad I have to send her to kindergarten in the fall all day everyday. :)
This month has been kind of a blur. Every morning I am so tired from getting up with the baby and with Charlie multiple times and yet somehow during the day I am able to meet everyone's needs, feel happy and capable and like I can do it again the next day. I have had occasional moments of panic when I realize there's really no break from this anytime soon, but I dismiss the thought and just keep going.
Here are a couple of experiences I have had so far that I wanted to remember:
We have to leave for preschool around 8:00am everyday. A couple of days ago, 5 minutes before we had to leave, Everett was screaming, Charlie was crying, Madeline wasn't ready to go, Charlie pooped his pants, and Everett pooped through everything and all over Madeline's clothes. In the midst of it all. I somehow laughed with Madeline (who normally would freak out when she gets dirty.) She said, "I felt something warm but I never imagined it would be poop!" Somehow we made it to preschool on time. This isn't actually that uncommon of a scene these days. :)
Matt has had a pretty busy week with late nights. We were out of a couple of food necessities, so i decided to brave the grocery store with all three kids. Not too far into shopping, Everett started crying. I had him in his car seat in the cart. Nothing seemed to calm him so I took the seat out of the cart and held the car seat on my arm while pushing the other two kids in the cart one-handed. My kids were actually pretty good, but I know I looked like I "had my hands full" by the look on every one's face I passed. It started to get uncomfortable and I just really wanted to get out of there, especially since I kept bumping into things. After I checked out, I hurried towards the door. I heard someone yell my name. It was a really nice guy from church who worked at the grocery store. He insisted he help me out to the car, took Everett in his car seat, got my other kids in their car seats and just was really kind and understanding. I usually don't look like I need help, so I was feeling slightly embarrassed, but that turned into gratitude once I swallowed my pride because he wasn't judging me. He just wanted to help me. I'm so grateful for good, kind people.
Last week, Charlie's face broke out into a rash so I had to haul everyone to the doctor. I planned it right so I could get there early and feed Everett in the car so he would be content during the appointment. While feeding him, I realized I only had one diaper in my diaper bag. Whoops. I debated about whether to change him at that moment, or wait incase there was a blowout. As I was debating about it, he pooped his pants. Well that took care of that. Hopefully, he wouldn't need another diaper change until we got home! I put him in my moby wrap, got the kids out of the car, looked back and saw a pull up in the back seat for Charlie. He had been having a hard time getting to the bathroom because of tummy troubles. Somehow I had an extra pull up for Charlie and yet no diapers for Everett... I decided to throw it in the diaper bag. As we were waiting to be called back, I was feeling pretty good about things. Everett had already fallen asleep in my wrap, and the two kids were happily playing together. All of a sudden, Charlie looked up at me with wide, concerned eyes and said, 'I have to go poop!" I hurried him and Madeline to the nearest bathroom but of course he didn't make it. I'm so glad I put that pull up in! So here we are in the bathroom. I knew they'd be calling our name soon, so I hurried and changed charlie on the floor. Gross. As I'm leaning down, cleaning him up, Everett's head kept flopping out, so I have to use my chin to hold it in while I'm changing charlie and I can hear the nurse now calling his name. Sheesh! It was pretty amusing. That is the last time I get over-confident! The rest of the appointment went really well. All the kids were angels and Charlie didn't have anything wrong with him. We got milkshakes on the way home to celebrate our making it through the outing.
We all went to church together for the first time last Sunday. I was proud of us for getting everyone all ready with plenty of time to spare. (Church starts at 9:00am) When we arrived early, Matt started to get Charlie out of the car and said, "Mal, where are Charlie's shoes and socks?" Dang. We almost did it. I had left them on the counter. Back I went with Charlie to finish getting him dressed and we were 10 minutes late. :) I'll get 'em next time!
It's definitely been exhausting and overwhelming, but there have been a lot of sweet moments, too. I feel proud of myself for making it through a month, which is really funny because the month would have passed no matter what I did. Ha! But things are going well and we are happy - tired, but happy. :)
Bring on the next month!